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Welcome to Englewood Rocks!

We’ve been called “The World’s Largest Outdoor Nursing Home” and “God’s Little Waiting Room,” but those people are just jealous of how good we have it here — or maybe they tried to find a parking spot at Wal Mart during season.

No Matter.  Welcome to Englewood Rocks! – a site designed to celebrate the essence of our town.  A kind of group therapy for those of us who live and work here.  I invite you to post comments about your joys, frustrations, aggravations and even confusion about being part of the whole Englewood thing.  Tell us the great things happening here, relive moments that could only have happened in Englewood, give us your gripes, promote your business… just participate.

When I moved down here over 25 years ago, my friends would ask me, “What do you do for fun in Englewood?”  At which point I would look down my nose at them and reply, “We go to Sarasota.”

Today, I’m proud to say that things are different.  Now, if we want to have fun in Englewood, we can go to Sarasota …. or Port Charlotte!

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  JOIN THE ENGLEWOOD ROCKS! COMMUNITY. 

Click on the link below to sign up and receive Englewood Rocks! information, free offers and other cool things.

CLICK HERE

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GUIDELINES AND RULES

If you want to talk about your business and maybe even promote it, go ahead.  Just don’t be boring.  Please don’t post a dry, typical ad.  You will be ridiculed.  If you want to put a normal ad, you can buy space to help defray the cost of producing this award-winning site.

In the spirit of full disclosure, here are the actual costs of production, so you can feel secure in buying an ad:

  • Website name registration (GoDaddy.com)  ………………$11.99/yr.
  • Labor (I like to visit GoDaddy and look at the  pictures of Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels in their GoDaddy Tanktops)……………..$250.00/hr.
  • Hosting – WordPress  …………………………………………….$   25.00/yr.
  • Happy Hour at Farlows ………………………………………….$120.00/wk
  • My daughter’s college tuition and costs ……………………$65,000/yr

If you do post about your business, be sure to make it entertaining …. or we will.  Don’t worry about the FCC or even what your mother told you about lying.

FOR EXAMPLE:  Key Agency — for superior wind and hurricane coverage. In 1920, when Hurricane Donna threatened the west coast of Florida with devastating violence, KEY AGENCY was there for you.  Not only did it guarantee 150% replacement value, it so intimidated the storm that no structure insured by Key Agency was even touched.

DISCLAIMER:  This is what’s known as satire. It’s not true.  There was no Key Agency in 1920.  Hurricane Donna was in 1960.  And if a big storm hit back in 1920 it would have completely obliterated the 3 fishing shacks that made up Englewood at the time.  Any reliance on this ad as fact shall be used as incontrovertible evidence that the reader is an utter and complete idiot.  Neither Key Agency nor the publisher of this site assume any liability for the statements, half-truths, little white lies or outright deception contained herein.  Tax, tag and title not included.  Void where prohibited. Not available in Kansas.

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 Like Englewood Rocks! on Facebook

CLICK HERE

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One response »

  1. Thanks for finally making a website that expresses the essence of Englewood. Now anyone who has ever asked ‘where in the world is EL Jobean’ now they’ll know! Your changing lives!

    Seriously I truly am Englewood’s number one fan!

    Reply

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